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July 9, 2020  by Elisabet

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G-Spot illustrated with G surrounded by flowers

What is the G-Spot and does it even Exist?

Top five sex toys in 2020 - Elisabet Barnes sexologist

Top five sex toys of 2020 - Toy Tuesday Ep.20

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Best for G-spot? njoy Pure Wand vs Le Wand Arch

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  • What is the G-Spot and does it even Exist?
  • Top five sex toys of 2020 – Toy Tuesday Ep.20
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It’s perfectly fine to not feel that sex is impo It’s perfectly fine to not feel that sex is important. However, if you think it is important, do you prioritise it? 

Many couples struggle to keep their sex life interesting over time. 

This quote from the excellent book “Mind the Gap” by @thesexdoctor really resonates with me. 

I think that many people expect that sex should just be happening spontaneously and that desire should fall from the sky like the most natural thing. If you read my previous post on desire you know that desire is in fact much more complex than that for many, and requires deliberate action to flourish.

How high up on your priority list is sex and do you actually invest in keeping your sex life active and interesting if you want it to be?

As a couple it is important to make time for intimacy and sex if you want it to last over time. It’s also important to talk about it because our sexuality is not static. It changes over time. If you don’t talk about sex it can become awkward to express to your partner when you discover new preferences and changing needs, and for the relationship to adapt. 

According to Dr Karen Gurney, research shows that sexual satisfaction in long term relationships is associated with:

1️⃣ Being receptive and responsive to your partners needs. Essentially you place value on meeting your partner’s needs (within reason) for the sake of meeting their needs and not for your own gain. This is the opposite to having a strong sense of personal sexual entitlement.

2️⃣ Conscientiousness as a personality trait, eg being organised, dependable and paying attention to detail.

3️⃣ Engaging in exciting, inspiring or challenging activities (outside of the bedroom). This can inject novelty into the relationship. When you do this you can mirror the early phase in the relationship when the couple is still learning about each other. Maintaining a degree of novelty and excitement can keep desire alive over time.

What do you think? Does it resonate with you?
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#talkaboutsex #desire #relationshipgoals #relationship #sexlife #excitement #sextalk #intimacy #couplestherapy #goodsexlife #communication #parterapi #kommunikation #par #sexliv #sexresearch
Happy International Fetish Day my lovelies! I thin Happy International Fetish Day my lovelies! I think all girls should have a catsuit in the wardrobe 😈😇 Makes you feel a million 💵 

This day started in 2009 in the UK and is recognised in support of the BDSM community and to encourage people to be more open about their sexuality. 

Kink and fetish are words often used interchangeably but strictly speaking there are differences. 

Kink is a broad term which describes most sexual activity that falls outside of what society considers mainstream or “the norm”. This could therefore be most “non-vanilla” sex 😅😳

A fetish on the other hand is a fascination with, or a preference for, a certain object or a body part which may heighten arousal or even be necessary for it.

All fetishes are kinks, as kink is an umbrella term. But not all kinks are fetishes.

Having a kink or a fetish is normal but sometimes misunderstood.

No matter what you’re into, as long as it’s consensual and not causing you problems, then be who you are and be proud of it. 🙌
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#internationalfetishday #fetishday #kinks #fetishes #catsuit #beyourself #beyou #openminded #sexology #sexed #sexeducation #acceptance #bdsmcommunity #sexologi #sexcoaching
In 1950, a gynaecologist called Ernest Gräfenber In 1950, a gynaecologist called Ernest Gräfenberg, suggested that the vagina contains an erogenous zone which is sensitive to sexual stimulation. This zone was along the urethra and could be felt on the anterior wall of the vagina.

Later, in 1981, a group of researchers claimed that they had discovered a spot which they named the G-spot after Gräfenberg.

There has since then been dispute and debate amongst researchers as to whether the G-spot exists or whether it “belongs in the same category as angels or unicorns”.

The studies which claim that they have identified the G-spot have been criticised for their methodology.

A comprehensive cadaver study in 2017 could not identify the G-spot as an anatomical structure & concluded that more research on female genitals is warranted. 

Meanwhile historical erotic texts allude to the existence of a sensitive area & to the emission of female fluids during sexual activity when this is stimulated.

Researchers have suggested that because the vagina, the urethra, & the clitoris are so close, this area could be sensitive & it is possible to indirectly stimulate the clitoris from inside the vagina.

So is it important if the G-spot exists or not?

I think it’s important to realise that we are all individuals & none of us are the same. Some women will experience pleasure from this area & some won’t but will feel something elsewhere. Some will squirt when the area is stimulated, some won’t, and some squirt from clitoris stimulation alone.

What is sad is when the medical industry profits from women’s insecurities about their genitals. There is actually such a thing as G-spot augmentation which in my view is completely unethical. I mean, how can you propose to “correct” something in someone who is perfectly normal? 

Explore your body & learn how it functions. Learn what works for YOU! No matter what spots or zones you find, remember that the most important stimulation is that of your mind...Otherwise the rest won’t work. 

For more detail & sources, hit link in bio for my latest blog. 
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#gspot #vagina #sexeducation #sexed #sexology #sexologist #sexolog #sexfacts #femalepleasure #gpunkt #squirting #sexmyths
One of my Christmas gifts was this neckless. 🥰 One of my Christmas gifts was this neckless. 🥰 Can you see what it is? (Hint: go back 8 posts 😊)

I think it will be a great conversation starter in 2021 and given that the above mentioned post was one of my most saved ever, I think this is a piece of important education! 😀🤓 

Head over to @clito.clito to buy this for someone whose pleasure you care about 😘 (no affiliation)
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#clitoris #sexeducation #sexed #femalepleasure #femaleanatomy #clitorisanatomy #pleasure #jewellery #feminist #feministart #clito #sexology #sexologist #sexolog #sexologi #coach #ownyourpleasure #statement #statementjewelry
Hope you’ve all had a cracking start to 2021! I’ll kick off the year here with some hopefully useful facts 😊

The phenomenon of female ejaculation has been described in ancient erotic writings dating back as far as 2000 years. However it has since then repeatedly been forgotten and rediscovered in eastern and western culture, much like other aspects of female sexuality. 

It is clear that women can expel fluids during sexual activity but the there has been differing opinions on the origins and compositions of the various fluids and also inconsistent terminology which further confuse matters and has resulted in an incorrect understanding.

Female ejaculation has frequently been used as an umbrella term to refer to different fluids but it is actually not the same as squirting which it often refers to. So what is the difference?

Female ejaculation is the secretion of a thick, milky fluid by the female prostate during orgasm. However according to research not all women have a prostate. The fluid expelled is only a few millilitres and has high concentrations of PSA (prostate specific antigen), fructose & glucose.

Squirting on the other hand, originating from the bladder, is the expulsion of a clear fluid in large volumes, which can occur when the G-spot area is stimulated. It has the same biochemical composition as urine or diluted urine (but can be contaminated with prostate secretion) but it looks, smells and tastes different. Squirting comes in larger gushes of 15-110ml which can be repeated.

Not all women ejaculate or squirt, though many women can learn to squirt if they want to. Some perceive it as positive and some don’t. Research has suggested that women who squirt have stronger pelvic floor muscles than women who don’t.

What are your own experiences? I’d love to know if you want to share 😊
To read a bit more on this topic, hit link in bio for one of my recent blogs.
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#squirt #squirting #sexeducation #sexed #femalepleasure #pelvicfloor #sexfacts #sexology #sexologist #sexologi #sexolog #orgasms #femaleorgasm #gspot #seksuellhelse #seksualitet #nytelse
Final post of 2020! Hit link in bio for my round u Final post of 2020! Hit link in bio for my round up of 2020’s favourite toys - Top 5 to be precise.... hope you find some inspiration 😜 Next year I’ll mix things up with some other topics. See you then and enjoy the fireworks in the meantime 😉
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#toysforadults #sexologist #sexology #sexolog #orgasms #pleasure #femalepleasure #nytelse #sexleksaker #sexleketøy #njoy #lewand #wevibe #docjohnson #chrystalinobyshots #couplesplay #bedroomfun #sexeducation #sexed
Happy New Year! Thanks for all your support and in Happy New Year! Thanks for all your support and inspiration. 🥰 The things I have missed the most this year are the little things we normally take for granted. If anything, this year has shown that we must live in the now while we can. Let’s create a better 2021 🤗🙌
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#happynewyear #2021 #newyear #newbeginnings
Well hello! Hope you’ve all had a lovely holiday Well hello! Hope you’ve all had a lovely holiday if you had one! I actually released the last Toy Tuesday of the year yesterday but I am a bit late telling you! 😳😊 Bonus episode is coming tomorrow to summarise the year as far as toys are concerned. A bit more lighthearted than other summaries of 2020 perhaps! First though, hit link in bio to see my latest episode comparing some steel chunks.
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#pleasure #pleasureproducts #steel #toysforadults #njoy #orgasms #gspot #wand #nytelse #sexleketøy #sexleksaker #sexed #sexeducation #sexologist #sexolog #sexologi #youtube  #lewand
The female genitalia are frequently referred to as The female genitalia are frequently referred to as the vagina. There are several problems with this.

Firstly it’s incorrect because the female genitalia can be divided into external & internal parts & the vagina is only ONE part of the INTERNAL structure.

Referring to the female genitalia as “the vagina” is like calling your whole face “the throat” 😳. Who would do that? 🤷‍♀️

The vulva is the correct name for the external part of the female genitalia, which we often mean when we use the word vagina.

The word vulva means covering or wrapping. It includes (depending on what source you consult) the mons pubis, outer & inner labia, the clitoris (see previous post on the clitoris), the vulvar vestibule which contains the urethral & vaginal opening, the perineum, Skene’s glands, & Bartholin’s glands. You don’t need to know what all of this is but it’s basically the “face” of the female genitalia.

Apart from being anatomically incorrect, when we use vagina to denote the female genitalia as a whole we reduce female sexual anatomy to reproductive function only, eliminate the pleasure generating clitoris (which is the female part corresponding to the male penis), & we suggest that the vagina is what sex is all about for women, which is a gross misunderstanding.

It may not seem important but this simple piece of education and shift in language could perhaps make a huge difference to the quality of women’s sex lives!

Did you know this stuff? What do you think?

Swipe for fabulous illustration by @the.vulva.gallery
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#vulva #anatomy #femaleanatomy #vulva #pleasure #femalepleasure #sexeducation #sexed #vagina #clitoris #sexuality #knowledge #educate #sexology #sexologi #sexcoaching #sexolog #kvinnliganatomi #anatomi
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