YES! I have decided to become a sexologist and couples therapist. Did you blush or did you think “Yeah girl, I knew it!”? I have known for a while that I would be studying again. I have studied a lot in my life and I love learning, but every time I do it I say “never again” because it’s freakin’ hard work. However I must have been blessed with some combination of exceptional resilience and selective memory loss as I am now ready to go back to school yet again.
Why Sexology and Couples Therapy?
I have always had a liberal and positive attitude to sex. However, as a young woman, I was quickly muted by society’s judgement if I expressed my views on it. After all, good girls fuck in moderation, right? Even this morning, yes in 2020, I read an article in a Norwegian newspaper where a professor in psychology (who calls himself a relationship expert) cemented this view to no help for women nor couples.
We have to change the way we talk about sex
I feel like time has come to press the unmute button. There simply cannot be enough voices raised for equality in sex and acceptance of the human sexuality in order to allow people to be themselves without shame and judgement, and to own their body and their sexuality. Becoming a sexologist will enable me to have a credible voice in this area.
Many people could have more fulfilling relationships
I believe that too many people live their lives not experiencing in full the kind of connection, intimacy and pleasure that they could have, with themselves and others.
Whilst I in no way pretend that I sit with some magic success formula that will change the world (and god knows I have failed miserably in many relationships!), I believe that my personal experiences place me well to help and inspire others.
The fact that I can do this now is much thanks to my husband. It is thanks to him that I have realised how good a relationship can be when you create an environment of trust in which you can talk about absolutely everything and it is thanks to him that I have gained the confidence to speak up. I also feel there is a need for sexologists who are not afraid to take an open-minded and modern approach, and who can welcome the diverse range of sexual orientations and preferences there are without being limited by their own morals. Don’t get me wrong, very many do and I applaud them, but many still hold old-fashioned views.
Why it Makes Sense
The past five years I have been coaching individuals to reach their goals in running, which often has involved a lot more since running does not exist in a vacuum. You also need to joggle commitments with work, family and friends and I have seen more than one divorce result indirectly or directly from ultra running, including my own! I thoroughly enjoy the ultra coaching process and I think that it will only be enriched by the new things I learn. At the same time the coaching has set me up well for now expanding the topics I can support people with, to include sex coaching and relationship guidance.
Being an athlete and a woman and very interested in physiology, health, nutrition and wellbeing, has taught me a lot about my body. I have felt fantastic, rock bottom drained, and everywhere in between, physically and mentally. I have come to understand a lot about hormones, stress, energy needs, recovery, and how we can care for our body and mind and achieve balance when we find ourselves without. The whole human being, the whole us, is incredibly important. After all, unless you feel good about yourself, how can you dedicate positive energy to your relationship and your sex-life?
Sexology is a broad topic and there are many interesting angles but I as a sexologist in the making would like to start by being a sex-positive voice of inspiration. Some of the things I am passionate about include:
- Every human being deserves a relationship in which they can feel safe and loved;
- Communication with your partner is everything;
- Everyone has the right to own their own body and sexuality, whichever their orientation;
- Life is too short for mediocre sex, and earth shattering orgasms are every woman’s right;
- I wish more women could just love their body, own it and act like the confident, sexy, empowered selves they should be.
Accepting clients now!
So those are some of my thoughts. As I progress I am soon going to accept a limited number of clients. This will be at a very reduced rate before I am a certified sexologist and couples therapist, so if you have any topics you would like to talk about (in the strictest confidence of course) feel free to reach out to me.
Thanks for reading and much love in these strange times of self-isolation! If you are interested in coaching for running and fitness, then see here: https://ultra.coach